On the Brink

All of a sudden it seems like all kinds of Hell has broken loose in our home. It is laughable if it weren’t so stressful.

1. Car gets a flat tire. No biggie right? All cars gets flats from time to time. Only THIS time we take the car in to find out that ALL tires need to be replaced. We could only afford the shock of one tire at this time and it was $300. SO to replace all tires we are looking at $1200. Yikes.

2. We call a chimney sweep to come out and clean the wood stove that we inherited (we love this stove by the way). Well, what do you know… chimney needs more than a cleaning. To the tune of a bout $1000. This is most concerning because the heat pump we have in ancient. This was my only real concern about buying this home. And now we are relying on it solely for heat. Oh, and did I mention that Winter has shown up earlier than I ever remember this year? It is snowing right now as I type in Oklahoma. VERY unusual for us!

3. Last night I head out for a special occasion I notice that I am loosing the ability to accelerate. I am driving the non-bad-tire vehicle because it is safer than driving on bad tires right?? Well, what do you know- I don’t get very far. This truck completely looses the ability to drive at all. Looks like the transmission had completely died. WOW. At this point my stress over these things has caused me to just laugh. I mean what else could go wrong? I won’t even begin to mention the external stresses that I am feeling from loved ones around me who are suffering.

So needless to say I feel overwhelmed. And then today my husband asked if we should post pone our process to Foster. Hm…. I started to think over that one. I begin to speak with my hubby over the thought, he reveals that he brought it up as a way for me to have the freedom to back out or delay if I felt the need. I appreciate him so much for this. What a gift he is to me. But as I began to talk to him about it, he said something very profound. He told me that he thinks we are on the brink of doing something really good, and these are obstacles to make us quit. WOW. As these words leave his lips we are both shocked at this revelation. I think he hit the nail on the head.

We would not be fostering if we were not felt called to do so. And I am not sure what our future holds. But I think that there are greater forces at work that would have us not answer what God has laid on our hearts. I hope this means that we are just on the brink of doing something really good. Really awesome.

We literally have our final meeting in TWO days to finalize the process to foster. Is it coincidence that these things would all happen within days of us doing so? I don’t have the answer, but the question is very moving. I am thankful my husband has had the ability to see through it all to ask. I lift my hands and say I have no idea how every thing is going to work out, but I have the faith that it will. We are pressing on. I think we are on the brink of something great and we will not be deterred.

Prep Work

I am transparent. I can’t help it. That is one reason I blog.

I got some donations and I am sitting here doing laundry and putting away baby blankets and bibs etc. Tiny clothes. Remembering all the laundry (as if I don’t already have enough). This is starting to get very real and I am starting to freak out. All the doubts and questions are creeping in. Not just having a baby again but someone else’s baby. Can I do this? How bad will this hurt?

Feeling led to be a foster parent doesn’t make it any less scary. I am scared.

I am making room in our home for all these baby things. Starting all over. Baby proofing the house. It is a good thing I don’t have to make room in my heart. That part is open. That is why we do it. So let the preparations continue. I will just have to remind myself to breathe. God has tugged on my heart and I will see this through.

And by the way, freshly laundered baby clothes and blankets are a good way to start.

Mission Accomplished

 Many times in the media and around the world we are bombarded by negative horrible things. Well, please indulge me as I take a little time to talk and brag about something good.

You see, we have been in our cabin for a little over two months now. I am so proud to say MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! We have successfully changed the culture of our home. We went from a high stress, eat-on-the-go, fast paced lifestyle to quiet evenings, family time, dinner-at-the table, and LOW stress life. I could not be more proud of my husband and I. We recognized a need in our home and we made drastic changes to bring about what was very needed for our family.

We stepped out of our box BIG time and changed up our whole life. We went from city life to country farm. It is probably too early to speak about how I will feel come Spring and Summer. That is when the real work will begin around here! So far we have experienced a full winter. Lots of snow and freezing temps. We found out the hard way just how much wood we will need to cut and stock up for next winter. We started with one rick for our wood burning stove only to learn we need about six! My boys will be busy chopping wood when it warms up!

Soon it will be time to plant the garden and work on the out doors. That will no doubt be a full time job. But it is one we will do together. I look forward to teaching both myself and the kids some new life skills about raising your own food and the daily chores of upkeep. We plan to get our  chicken coop underway and have some chicks for fresh eggs.

Our children are thriving in their new school. Both boys were chosen for the scholastic team and brought home 3 of the seven medals won by the school. Both boys were chosen as student of the month in the SAME month after only being there for two months. I am one proud momma! I can not express how much I enjoy sending them off in the morning with a prayer to cover their day and being here when they get home from school. They seem to open up most in those few short minutes fresh off the bus about their day. I am so blessed to be able to hear about their accomplishments and disappointments when they first get home.

My daughter and I are spending precious moments together through the day. One of my very favorite things is being there when she wakes from her daily nap. She loves to cuddle and sit with momma during this time. Is there anything better than a semi sleepy child curling up in your lap? I love it!

My husband has been able to take care of important things on the job while knowing that we are safe and secure at home. We used to have to stress over who would care for the kids when they were sick. Who would call in? If the roads are bad he can just stay the night at the hospital (where he works) with out fear that I too will have to be at work. No more getting the kids up super early to get to day care. No more stresses over picking them up by a certain time if the work day runs long.

I was diagnosed a year ago with Graves Disease. I have had to take medicine every day (which by the way tastes horrible) to try and regulate the ever important thyroid. It has been a battle to get just the right dose. But get ready for this… since we have gotten settled my blood work has all come back normal! This is a year ahead of schedule! NO MORE MEDS AT ALL! Isn’t it amazing what a lifestyle change can do for you? We no longer eat fast food and I honestly have no idea how much weight I have lost without even trying. No diet, no special substances.

I say all of this to encourage you. It can be done! Just little changes here and there can bring about positive results. It has been an adjustment. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss pizza delivery and an occasional Starbucks. But the trade off is well worth it. Maybe you can’t make the drastic changes that we did, but you can do something to take back charge over the busy hustle and bustle. I think it is past time we be in charge of our life instead of it running us. We were so guilty!

And that is all! Thank you for taking the time to hear about our journey as we go along learning and feeling out our way on the Miller farm!

Phase 4

Big things are on the horizon for our family… again. We are trying to place the final piece of the puzzle. I call it phase four.

Phase 1. Sell our home. We jumped right in and sold our house in as little as four weeks. I will let you see the previous post to know why we started this journey.

Phase 2. Move to interim home. Again I will refer to earlier posts for the not so pretty details of this.

Phase 3. Quit my job. Well, not quit but change my status to work-when-I-want. This came a little early because of the need to home school the kids because said interim home was not in a good school district. But believe me, any reason to turn in the pager and work on my terms is a great thing. I have been in this state for a couple of months now. I can not tell you how liberating and wonderful it has been. Homeschooling the kids has not been easy. But I have enjoyed the time together.

And now Phase 4. Buy new house. Yay! After living in such close proximity to one another we welcome the chance to move to a new bigger home. And what a change this home will bring. Exactly what we have been looking for. First off, I think instead of city girl I will be turning into pioneer woman! It is a beautiful log cabin home. That’s right LOG CABIN.

(not our actual home but you get the idea *wink*)

This retreat is nestled in the woods with several acres of room to roam. It comes complete with a fishing hole, creek, amazing garden and room to have livestock. WOW. This is going to take some getting used to! No more pizza delivery. A trip to the grocery store will be a “trip into town”. I look forward to the change, but I am not sure if we know what we are getting ourselves into. You could say we have nervous excitement.

I will not be churning butter (at least not anytime soon)

but I hope to start living a healthy more self sustaining lifestyle. Stay posted as I am sure there will be many adventures to write about soon!